The Conn Man: Part 1 / 2
I: Nothing is less attractive than those amateur porn videos where teenage girls insert their hairbrushes. If you’re too young to afford a proper sex toy, you’re too young to expose yourself to strangers on the internet, and I am far too old to be watching you.
II: Always browse in incognito.
III: Why are you on 4chan anyway?
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I: The important thing to remember as an urban stoner is to constantly be prepared. This isn’t business to be conducted at bus stops or behind the strip malls of your youth.
II: Stay mobile in order to keep a low profile.
III: Strip malls are out. Big boxes are in. Keep everyone in sight.